Serving the Quad Cities Since 1999

Making the change

Transitioning to in-home care can be difficult for not only the elderly, but for family members as well. Keep these tips in mind when preparing to make the change.

Role Reversal:

It can become very uncomfortable for a family member, especially children, to accept the fact their loved one needs care. They have spent their whole life up until this point taking care of others; it’s natural to feel weird about having take care of them now. Sometimes family members feel as if they are forcing their involvement in a loved ones personal life or worried their family member will feel like they’re being an inconvenience. 55% of Americans think being a burden on their family is the biggest concern regarding long term care. It may begin to feel like the parent to child role is actually being reversed which can seem very scary to most. Lighthouse Homecare is here to help eliminate those bad feelings and establish a life long adult to adult relationship.


Starting the conversation:

Before discussing whether or not any type of care will enter your lives, make sure you and your parent/family member are emotionally and physically up for it. With that in mind, try to get the idea out in the open before crisis strikes. Many times both sides are either in denial or afraid to have this conversation; to make it a little easier plan for a positive approach, as well as an appropriate time. If you wait until crisis strikes, your loved one may feel forced or abandoned. You could begin by assuring them they are not, nor will they ever be alone on this journey. Explain to them all the benefits of in-home care such as independence from a nursing facility, and having someone there to help them if they were to fall, remind them of doctors visits, help prepare their meals, and remind them to take their medications. This may be something they relied on from you in the past so they may be opposed to it. If that’s the case, you could bring up how it would also benefit your relationship. After bringing a care-giver into the home to take care of these things you two can begin to re-establish the adult – adult relationship that may have started to fade into the background once roles began to switch. Remind them that while you have no problem taking care of everything for them, imagine how much more one on one time would be available once a caregiver took over these tasks.

Is your loved one still opposed to the idea?

  • Try asking them for alternative ideas while keeping an open-mind
  • Make sure they feel as if this is their choice and that they have say in the final decision
  • If they have a significant other, suggest how it would benefit them
  • Attend or set up a doctors appointment with a long term care physician they are comfortable and have some longevity with to discuss care options
  • Get them to say yes to introducing a caregiver only for light housekeeping and meal preparation to warm them up to the idea
  • Always keep a positive attitude and stay energetic and supportive about the issue
  • Be persistent, but not forceful